Just Keep Trying
by bookishness
Summary: Hermione has returned to Hogwarts after a year on the run hunting horcruxes and is finding it hard to adjust. Has she really changed that much, or is she just not trying hard enough.


**Personally I don't think Hermione would have adjusted to going back to Hogwarts all that easily, and I think that she would need people to force her into actually trying to fit in again. So this is what I think would happen.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything of JKR's  
**

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"Coming Hermione?" Ginny called from the doorway.

"You go, I'll be down in a minute." She threw a small smile at her before turning back to her parchment. Ginny gave her one last worried look before turning around and leaving the room.

Hermione sighed, surely it would get easier - being here without her best friends – it had to, she had eight months left at school yet. The fact that she couldn't seem to be happy without them made her feel even worse.

She was trying to write a letter to Ron. Harry's had been easy, she just told him that everything was fine and spent the rest of it telling him about Ginny. The problem was, she had been relying purely on the stories Ginny had told her about what she'd been up to before they went to bed. Harry might not notice that, but Ron would. The thought made her smile – she never thought she'd see the day when Ron was the more perceptive of the two.

It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with Ginny; she loved spending time with her. But Ginny's friends were all people she didn't know, because they were a year younger. That meant they either worshipped the ground she walked on for being part of the 'Golden Trio' or just didn't know how to act around her. As friends do, Ginny's had loads of inside jokes that Hermione didn't understand, and Hermione often laughed inappropriately because something had reminded her of Ron or Harry. It wasn't their fault that she felt uncomfortable around them, it was just the way it was, she had never really gotten on well with girls anyway.

She had tried secluding herself in the library, but she couldn't do it anymore, it reminded her of the horrible first few months of first year where she had no friends and had been in a completely new world, completely alone for the first time in her life. The rational side of her brain told her that she was being silly, she had friends; she had Ron and Harry back at home, she had Ginny and Luna, and Neville.

She hated to say it, but being back at school felt so wrong. She couldn't see Hogwarts as an amazing, magical, _safe _place anymore. Not when she could see the faint scars where walls had been repaired, the slightly darker patches where blood permanently haunted the floorboards. She wanted to see it through those innocent eleven-year-old eyes again. The ones that had looked at the castle with such reverence and awe. The problem was that she had seen too much, grown old too quickly. _It's strange, _she thought, _how much things can change in a year._

A tapping at the window interrupted her reverie. She looked to see an owl sitting patiently on the window sill, she rose and opened the window, taking the letter from the owl's beak before letting it fly around the room. She knew from the handwriting that it was from Harry, which was odd, seeing as usually he took at least a day to reply, she ripped the envelope uncharacteristically, assuming something was wrong and started to read.

_Hermione,_

_I could fill you in on everything that's been going on here, but I'm going to skip to the real point of this letter. Now don't get mad at her, because really she's just worried about you. Ginny says you've been down. She says you're stuck in your room all day every day, unless it's for class. She says at first she thought you were just 'moping after her idiot brother', which wouldn't really be surprising as her 'idiot brother' has certainly been moping after you. But it's now been two months, and you really can't miss him that much, never mind how much of a good kisser he is… I really can't believe I just wrote that… anyway I'm guessing that it's more than that, I mean I couldn't even contemplate going back to Hogwarts after the year we had. I suppose it's something only the three of us will really ever understand, at least fully understand, I'm not under the impression that we are the only people scarred from last year. _

_Anyway, I'm getting off track, I've never really been as good at this letter writing stuff as you. What I mean to say is that I know it's difficult, and I know it's probably worse without Ron and me there to physically drag you into having fun, but you really need to try. I'm not trying to be mean but you can't just lock yourself away from everyone and then feel sorry for yourself because you're not having any fun. I know Ginny's friends might not be your friends, and you've never really had other girl friends before, but Ginny's trying and you're making it difficult for her to have an okay year, because she just feels guilty that you aren't… Please don't tell her I said all that, she didn't want me to tell you, but I know it's things you really need to hear. Just try and put everything out of your mind for once and at least attempt to have an open mind about Hogwarts, it's really the only way you'll get through the year._

_Okay, so now that all the harsh, heavy stuff is out of the way, can you please write to Ron and tell him that I REALLY don't want to hear about how much he misses you and how soft your lips are every day, seriously, you're practically my sister and it really makes me very uncomfortable. _

_On the plus side, it's only two more weeks until the Hogsmeade weekend, so hopefully he can get his fill of your 'bloody phenomenal' kissing then ay? Actually, forget that, I really don't want to know._

_Don't reply until you have something to tell me about what YOU'VE done. Yes I did notice that… actually that's a lie, Ron pointed it out… never thought I'd see the day when Ron was more observant than me…_

_Have some fun, and sorry if I sounded harsh before Hermione, I love you, and I just want you to be happy okay, you worry me sometimes._

_Harry._

She put it down on her bed, staring at the messy, scrawled handwriting. Was she really being selfish in keeping to herself? _Was _she really not trying hard enough to be sociable? Was she really feeling sorry for herself?

Her conclusion was yes. Yes to everything. She sighed, glancing at the dooway Ginny had recently vacated. She chewed on her lip, hearing Harry's words as clearly as if he were stood next to her, '_Just try_'. Her mind was made up and she was just about to leave when she remembered her excuse to stay behind. At least now she knew what she'd put in her letter to Ron, poor Harry.

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**Thank's for reading :)**


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